News Chews
Sauron (Mikey Williams/Top Rank)
Wilder | Farty bum bum
Deontay Wilder, frustrated at his recent loss to Tyson Fury explains, in detail why he lost the fight. 
Massive cash | New £20's too big
New £20 notes feature Budgie lover William Turner, but they are a bit on the large side. Rumour Whiff speaks to the people... 
Vladimir Putin | Did you know special
Did you know that the Greggs vegan sausage roll was based on Putins original recipe and he gets paid 5p for every one sold? Did you know that Pussy Riot translated from Russian to English means Fanny Fight? Did you know that Vlad loves the now defunct Sausage & Tomato crisps so much, that he bought 11 boxes of them before manufacturing stopped? Some say he has a secret crisp factory that makes them to the exact original recipe and he eats a packet every day watching old episodes of “The Bill”. More Putin did you know facts here… 
Netflix | Misleading
Newly signed up Netflix customers were today infuriated by revelations that apart from some of the great films, series and other stuff, the main bulk of the content was "not very good", and in some cases, misleading. Tinty Burstparcels investigates… 
Trump | Knob Jockey
Did you know the sentence "Donald Trump is a Knob Jockey" uses every letter in the English alphabet 
Benidorm | Bums
Tourist blames “Bums Out” beach for ruined holiday. 
Election fun | Take the survey
Our interactive survey tool helped the public (you), choose who to vote for. Have a go here NOW and see if we got it right! 
Black Friday | Sales are racist
Black Friday sales are racist, claims middle class woman from Wimbledon. 
Super diet | Record breaker
Record breaker is slimmer of the year. |
Latest Farticles
New bag | Saves environment
It's called Bag, Bag, Bag, Bag and is a miraculous new bag which is likely to replace the humble rucksack as our everyday item carrier. 
Loos of our time | Arizona USA
An almost imperceptible sense of being in the right place when I walked into this wonderful boudoir. I was astonished to see that a dwarf urinal had been installed in such an unpolitically correct country - Go USA! Quick wee in about 30 seconds then turtlehead forced me into the crapper for a number two. 
I'm a Celebrity | Ants in their pants
Celebrities from ITV hit show I’m a Celebrity, were outraged after new bush tucker trial was more bushy than expected. 
Debate | Magic forest
Magic money forest found in Mote Park, Maidstone. 
Cycling | New Tour De France rules
New jerseys and a rule change for food and drink could prove profitable for meat producers in the region. Chisso check it out... 
Cycling | 100% foolproof drug testing
Will Mr Blue pave the way for all sport in the future? Ray Chisholm discovers cycling is once again at the forefront of preventing drug cheats. Showbiz Desserts
Charles Aznavour | Smellovision
Sommelier palates in the Rhone Valley are so refined that some of the octogenarians have the rare ability to taste sound? 
Coming soon
Facts | Why are elephants are taller than pigs? How to create poisonous venom by removing the enamel from your teeth.
Monster | Build a giant monster a bit like Frankensteins one but with less moaning and a rounder head.
Fashion | We teach you how to say boo ya - street style!
Other News Snacks
Woof | Crazy dog craze is crazy!
We unearth what's behind this crazy craze that's sweeping the nation.
Animal Magic | Blimey
During the '70s, the CIA trained cats to spy on heads of state. |
Recent Revelations
Prince Andrew | The sweats
Top deodorant companies worried about non sweat claims from Prince Andrew. 
Prince Philip | Duke of Edinburgh
Forget Andrew, we have exclusive news about the health of HRH the Duke of Edinburgh. 
France | Aix-en-Provence
Our travel guru, Chromium Pudge tells wonderful tales of this fabulous region of Francais. Adventures start here... 
Asturias | a tourists guide
A hikers heaven with a lot of traditional Spain thrown in and cheap prices to boot, why is no-one here then? Rhett Ostrich investigates... Art tarts
Books | This months best books
"Socks and the Elizabethans" - Jenny Gitt has written a wonderful tome dedicated to the humble sock. Also reviewed was a book about Griffins; it was rubbish.
TV dinners
TV | What to watch
Rumour Whiff welcomes the return of "Stars in their eyes". Are you sexy?
I am | Coming soon, a sexy look at sex and all the saucy trollops licking.
Cock | Turdghistan
From tourists grumbling about too many clouds in the air to those blaming hotels for the potato famine, For F*cks Sake weeds out the dross and looks at some of the most reasonable whinges. 
Foreign | In the name of terror
Name changes causes Facebook to blow up. Did you know
DYK | More DYK facts
Did you know that Elephants regularly sneeze the alphabet? Did you know that if you lift up your tongue, you can see Jesus? Did you know that bees wear shoes. They’re very tiny and can be seen by the naked eye (or a clothed eye). We ask - you answer | Food
Have you ever eaten your own belly button fluff? Most said no, one claimed to have licked his, and two others purport to have eaten the fluff from a Tibetan monk, which gave them a spooky dry sensation for hours afterwards. And it made them levitate. |
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