Maidstone people start searching for money trees after Boris Johnson tips them off. Grinty Pumpchod investigates…
After an explosive ITV debate on the upcoming election, opposition leader Jeremy Corbyn announced a lot of reforms that require billions in public expenditure.
However, eagle eyed viewers in Maidstone spotted that massive Conservative Boris Johnson indicated that Corbyn knows exactly where this money forest is.
Julie Etchingham, host of the ITV debate mentioned that former PM Theresa May confirmed that there was “no magic money tree”.
Etchingham asked: "Have you found a magic money tree, Mr Johnson?”. Clearly he had, but remained very tight lipped about it.
Then she asked, “and have you found perhaps more than one of them, Mr Corbyn?”
Johnson immediately stated “a money forest he’s got” and Corbyn visibly looks concerned.
This reporter reviewed the video evidence almost twice, and If you listen back to recordings carefully, Corbyn says very clearly but a bit under his breath, and ever so quietly “and it’s in Maidstone”.
Bob Ittybob from Bearsted said “ Johnson is on the ropes, he knows that Corbyn has a magic money forest and fears that he’s going to lose the election because of it. How can you compete with that?”.
Interviewing local residents provided further evidence of the forest.
Real magic money tree from somewhere abroad
Agnes Butterfingers from Tovil commented that, “Graham from the pub says the forest is in Mote Park and he’s seen it growing twenties”, “the bloke that looks after it drives a Ferrari, he looks a bit like Tom Hanks”.
Bloke with a ferret said, " if Corbyn has got a magic money forest, then we can become the most powerful nation on earth and all ride around in helicopters and eat takeaways every day".
Despite not having found the fabled forest we at Rumour Whiff thinks this is an election winner.
If you think you know the location of the Magic Money Forest, please do get in touch at fuckwits@rumourwhiff.com