Black Friday sales are racist, claims middle class white woman from Wimbledon
Minty Muffinblowers, feels it’s time to address the thorny issue of Black Friday once and for all.
Shopping trolley
“I’m outraged” Minty said, “not for me, but for all the coloured ladies and gentlemen of the world, who will be feeling oppressed on a day of bargains and bobkins”.
Minty, aged 35, says the name Black Friday comes from a double racist meaning. Minty explains, “Black, means black people. And Friday is taken from Man Friday, which is a servant”.
Minty goes on, “so in essence, black Friday means black slave, it’s just not on”.
In an effort not to ruin a racial stereotype Rumour Whiff went to Brixton to investigate Minty’s claims. Our roving reporting Nert Fuddlegit spoke to some locals.
“it’s bare racist fam, they have no idea of the dred we’ve been ‘tru in ‘dis community, you get me?” said Giles Martin, a 27 year old solicitor from Archbishops Place.
Roger Pifkin, 31 old architect from Blenheim Gardens concurs, “dey is callin’ us slaves bruv, I gassed ‘ere from Putney ends 2 years ago innit, and got me a peng Edwardian terrace for only £900k and mandem is pingin’ on us”.
“I still might get me a new Kindle on the cheap though ‘cuz and take bare advantage of my free Prime delivery” Roger said. So, there you have it, Black Friday is racist, it’s now up to retailers to come up with a better name. Rumour Whiff suggests doing it on a weekend and calling it Bloody Sunday?