Top deodorant companies worried about non sweat claims from Prince Andrew

Top perfumeries and cosmetics companies are’ quaking in their roll ons’ after they discovered that Prince Andrew has found the secret to not sweating.
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In his recent interview with Emily Maitlis, he claims that he has a medical condition that means he cannot sweat. The Prince said “"I didn't sweat at the time because I had suffered what I would describe as an overdose of adrenalin in the Falklands War when I was shot at and I simply… it was almost impossible for me to sweat."

Since then sales of holidays to war torn regions have gone through the roof. Thomus Cook said “yes, we have had a strange influx of booking to far flung places like Mogadishu, Syria and even Penge”.

Rumour Whiff tracked down a group of teenagers who said they had gone to Mogadishu and claimed their sweat problems went away. They also got a free clear out to boot.

Our war Correspondent Toughty Gruntface interviewed them. Their names have been changed for security purposes.

“fuck mine!” said Mindy, “when you’re in the middle of a firefight your adrenaline is pumping like crazy”.

“ I shit myself as well” she said.

“we was out there for two weeks and I reckon we was shot at 12 times” comments her friend Babsy “and I haven’t had a sweatlet since”

Though one friend, Shezza, didn’t return, “yeah, Shezza tried the organic trepanning but Thomus reckons it went a bit too far and now she’s dead”, Babsy said.

Mindy comments, “we booked through Thomus Cook and he sorted everything out for us”.

Whilst all that seems like fun, and money well spent, Thomus warns that unscrupulous travel agents have been taking advantage of the situation. Thomus said “I should warn Rumour Whiff readers that dishonest agencies have been offering holidays to the Falklands.”

“angry customers have come back sweating like a Camels teabag in a sauna” he commented. “They just claim it’s leakage from being near sheep”.

Rumour Whiff thinks that whilst it’s a lot of fun being shot at, it’s probably cheaper to buy some good quality antiperspirant – Buff.
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