New rules for Tour de France
After the success of the white and green jerseys in recent years the UCI have decided to include two new jerseys for this years tour. Plus, changes are made on consumption of food and liquids.
Gordian Jersey | Technical info
The wearer is the rider/or riders who has completed the race in the least amount of time, during the following day's stage and is awarded to the leader of that classification at the end of the stage who has been deemed by a race jury to have shown spirit during each individual stage.
Points are awarded for the severity of it.
The more points that are on offer the longer it goes on, based on the squad which has collectively completed the race in the least amount of time. Provided that the points awarded to riders correlate with the position they finish each stage, plus points are awarded for other stages during some stages.
Stage winners get the most points, with fewer points awarded to those that arrive later on, unless you arrive eighth, and then the wheel length rule applies. The points are then tallied up after each stage (including ultra stages) and added to points won in all previous stages and inter-modal stages and the ones before that.
Musettes banned | And drink
Alarmingly, this year’s organisers have decided that riders must now find their own food and drink en route. However, to aid riders they have strategically placed livestock and wildfowl along the route so they don’t get hungry or thirsty.
A Costa Rican bloke said “we have had to teach the riders about animal husbandry and the best cuts of meat for their lunch; currently loin is favourite among the lads”.
Sometimes, the best cuts aren’t the quickest though, HTC have adopted a much leaner approach going for cheek and thigh as a preference. However, our top strategy once again came from Ineos racing who have littered the route with small (but very slow) voles and mice. Froome said “they make a quick and tasty nutritious snack, they have also been trained to milk themselves so we get a little drink as well”. RW doffs its cap in Ineos' marginal gains direction once again!
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Brown Jersey | Nuff said
Shittest rider of the day.
Up until 1967 it was a tradition that riders call their mums just before the penultimate stage to let them know how they're getting on and request a special tea when they get home. It was compulsory to live with ones parents as a tour professional in the '60's.
The average Tour rider will consume around 4,000 to 5,000 calories each stage, that’s the equivalent of 71 Werthers Originals a day!
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